Why so weak? Why so accepting? Why let all pass? Why is this me?
Is it out of not caring? Or too much caring?
I can’t seem to understand myself.
One minute I am strongly against, the other strongly against the first!
Why is it confusing? Isn’t my mind supposed to be one!
Why is thinking as two then?
Is it because I’m deeply in?
Is it because I’m terrified?
I surprise myself by the extremes I visit in less than an hour!
No middle grounds only extremes !
I could never accept the in betweens.
It’s either black or white, this gray area does not exist to me.
This weakness, easiness, acceptance is winning in action where the toughness, stiffness, rejection ALWAYS win inside my head.
It makes me feel BAD!
It constantly makes me feel like a loser.
That I could never interpret what I’m truly feeling.
That I could never stick to my opinions.
But that’s not the case!!
It’s that I can’t NOT let it pass!!
I can’t push it away. I can’t let it down.
I can’t have this on my hands.
I just can’t.
I want them to be aligned; my actions and mind. But this could never happen.
I don’t think a person like is able to act based upon his mind. It’s all about emotions to me.